Originally Published in the New School Free Press, 3/30/2009
As the weather gets warmer, it’s time to inch away from the whiskey-laced winter and slip into something a little lighter. Gin and tonic? Reminds me way too much of my dad. Fuzzy navels? Gave those up at 16. Vodka soda? I prefer when my alcohol tastes like alcohol. If I wanted to drink water and black out, I’d just do roofies.
No, the summer months call for only one thing: the margarita. There are many myths surrounding its origins, but one thing is clear: the right combination of lime juice, tequila, and triple sec are the recipe for an unforgettable evening—pr at least that’s what you’ll think after a few. But where to go for una buena? While it’s not hard to find a decent Jack and Ginger, a margarita isn’t something you can leave to an amateur.
First off, only 100 percent agave tequila will do. On that note, Jose Cuervo is a hack and should be ashamed of the second-rate crap he sells to unassuming housewives and college students. A couple of shots of that pungent mess will leave even an experienced lush useless the following day. Who has time for a walk of shape before 10 a.m.? Patron will do in a bind, but Herradura or Don Julio will usually result in a smoother night at a better price.
Some prefer Couintreau or Grand Marnier to triple sec, the former making it sweeter, and the latter adding a hint of orange to the mix. Wither way, only freshly squeezed lime juice is acceptable as a finish. If you see a bartender pull out a bottle of Rose’s, cancel the order and exit immediately. Nothing good can come of the encounter—you won’t be able to stomach enough for the evening to get interesting.
Keep in mind that the amount you imbibe will be in direct proportion to the amount of crazy shit that happens to you . Now one should wake up in her own bed only to find her wallet, keys, and purse—but missing her pants. Keep in mind, one is fun, two is better, and three, you may wake up a nit disoriented. Como se dice, who paid for the penthouse?
Monday, March 30, 2009
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